What's on those Old Tapes?
by Sharon

What is your heart condition? Is it light and free? Or burdened and heavy? Is it filled with love and peace? Or bitterness and worry?

Think about the condition of your heart as you would a garden with:

Good seeds (flowers): from the love and nurturing that others have planted in you and that you have allowed to grow.

Bad seeds (weeds): of pain and resentment that you have also allowed to grow from the adversity, abuse or attacks that happened in your life.

A wise gardener tends her garden with diligence and care. Enjoying the beauty, fragrance and cheer the flowers bring, and weeding out anything that takes away from the beauty and purpose of her garden.

As the gardener of your heart it is up to you to tend to its condition, quick to pull out weeds as soon as they appear, and patient to water and wait for the buds and then blossoms to appear.

Depending on the winds that have blown your way, carrying with them and depositing uninvited seeds in the soil of your heart, weeding may be a bigger job than watering for you. But if you only look at your garden and bemoan it’s condition without doing anything about it, complaining that your neighbor’s garden experienced fewer winds of adversity, your flowers will be overrun weeds.

Where to start? Roll up your sleeves and begin to pull out the weeds:

Start with the big ones. And ask for help if they’re too difficult to get out. It’s better to do that than pull and tear off the tops leaving the roots in the soil.

Ask yourself: Do I need to confront?
                    Do I need to forgive?
                    Do I need to apologize? And then do what’s necessary.

If you blame others for your condition, or tell yourself the job is too big and you can’t do it, your garden will never realize it’s beauty.

Remember, your garden is your heart, and your heart is you.

What's on those Old Tapes?
by Sharon

My husband will tell you I have too many books and tapes, and he's right. I've got more than I'll ever be able to read or listen to probably. But...(my thinking goes) there just might be some valuable information in them I'll need! I've been this way for, well a long time. Probably the researcher, writer in me. They are the hardest things for me to get rid of when we're clearing out the excess in our home.

You know, there are alot of people who have the same trouble letting go of the 'old tapes' in their heads, albeit for different reasons. Old tapes of thinking, of seeing others and themselves...holding on to…you know, the classic "He done me wrong" tape, the "You'll never amount to anything" popular rendition of rejection. Then there's "I'm nobody 'til somebody loves me" all time great hit. There are hundreds of such 'tapes'.

In poking a little fun at these I in no way think 'old tapes' are a light matter. As I wrote last time, I know this one...had lots of old tapes on rejection, emotional abuse and trauma. I didn't like playing those old tapes, it was more like they were on some kind of automatic, that would play with certain predictability around specific times of the year or circumstances. And none of them made me 'feel good.' Not one. For those of you who relate. You relate.

My advice is just throw the darn tapes away. Don't be passive about it. Don't lay down and let those old tapes continue to 'program' you in unfruitful, even harmful ways! You will need some help with this, just as I need my husband to speak common sense to me about getting rid of some of the books I'll never read or tapes I'll never listen to.

I want to encourage you. God will help you with this if you ask Him. He wants us free from the old tapes and promises to renew our minds, if we will let Him. He did mine.

The old tapes no longer play! Well, the ones in my head. The ones in the garage are a different story.

Soul Food - Self Talk
by Sharon

You'd have to literally be a hermit to not be aware of the continual admonitions in all the major media outlets, books, magazines, etc., not to mention your doctor, to take good care of your health. But, how well are you taking good care of your soul? I mean your mind, your emotions, your will? This is, of course, a huge multi-faceted subject, and I wouldn't begin to pretend to have all the answers. But there are a few things I have learned that I hope may be helpful to you.

For instance, the importance of listening to how you talk to yourself...your 'self-talk'. That in itself will reveal a whole lot about how you feel about yourself, about others, and about life.

Next, remembering that moods follow thoughts. So, what you think about, or how you thing about things, will determine your mood, your emotional well-being, which will impact your choices (your will).

How many old tapes do you continue to play in your mind? You know, the negative thoughts you have about yourself, perhaps 'recorded' by others by what they spoke to you, or how they treated you. If you don't stop playing them you'll end up with a real victim mentality and.that won't help at all. To the contrary! Rather, I encourage you to not only turn off the tape player, but throw those darn tapes away!

I had to throw a whole bunch of tapes away years ago, and... I had to get a new set of 'tapes' to replace them. Believe it or not, after trying some positive mental attitude books which really only touched surface areas, I started taking a serious look at the Bible and then searched for a good, safe group of people who were sincerely seeking to understand and know God, and who were finding real answers. I mean real answers. I asked alot of questions, and well, the end result is - I got a whole new set of tapes! Not a set of religious rules of do's and don'ts, but a renewing of my mind, and a healing of my emotions that is as real as this planet we all stand on.

That's why we've included soul and spirit, not just body, in this 'self-care' section of WOMANTalk. We understand that women want real answers to every area of their lives. And, just in case you need a new set of tapes, too, please click over to "Filling the Void' on our Spirit page here. http://www.5shock.com/womantalk/images/yourself_title.jpg